Thanksgiving 2015: Self- Realizations and Social Media + Life Tips from Moi :)

 

My dearest reader,

In the last year, you might have noticed that I had not been blog- posting as much and as regularly as I used to back in the good ol’ daily- blogging days. Apart from all the things that I have to work on of late (hehe this chick has to hustle), I’ve also been doing a lot of self- reflection, self- analysis, and analyses of my surroundings. I wish I am able to articulate everything into posts for the blog on a regular basis, but I also realized that these thoughts are best processed within and privately first. And when I do have some important insights, I would definitely share them here without hesitation. Like what I am doing now 🙂

On My So- Called “Private” Life :

When I began blogging in 2005, I opened up my world to everyone who was willing to spend a few minutes of their time to read what I wrote. I was grateful for the audience– and I still am very much so because I love that people make the effort to check my site for updates (even if these days, most would rather just read super short stories and captions on Instagram– riiiight???). Anyway, your reading my blog is something that fills my heart with gratitude– and no, I’m not overacting (OA) here when I say that *haha I can be very melodramatic but haha this one comes from the heart :D*. Because I know you can do something more productive with your time than just go through what I wrote on my blog 🙂 But one other thing I did not realize back then when I began sharing everything on the blog was that I would open myself up to criticism– from light remarks to seriously below- the- belt harsh ones.  I still remember those days when I would write about DM, DD, DH, DK, DB, DSIL (dear mom, dear dad, dear hubby, dear kid/s, dear brother/s, dear sis-in-law) without thinking that it would become topics of discussions over lunches by many a chismoso/ chismosa (also known as “gossip monger”) haha. I was liberally talking about them here years ago, right? 🙂 I understand criticism comes with the territory, but I failed to understand why people would find it in their interest to talk about my private relationships. The more they *esp. those who probably didn’t like me too much* talked about me, the more other people got to know that there is a person also known as The Bag Hag that exists (haha there are still many who have never heard of this old hag haha). LOL they are making me famous?! *guffaws*

In the end, what I did not expect out of blogging was the way it has somehow made me become so protective of my private life, of my family.  And now, I never write about them. It is a choice that I took because while I gladly share everything else that happens in my life (i.e. where I go, what I do, and haha even what I eat *haha not many might even care but hey, I still share anyway*), I still like to keep a semblance of privacy in my life and make sure I don’t involve any of my family members in my craziness :). I want to spare them the embarrassment!  Hahaha I feel like one of those celebrities who go about saying that they “guard their private life fiercely.” I laugh about that particular phrase a lot because I AM NOT A CELEBRITY (but delusional to think so oftentimes hahaha) to even say that. In reality, I am just another person who happens to love writing, who happens to enjoy sharing photos and experiences with others, and who happens to love bags, shoes, food, and travel. And I also happen to be someone who loves connecting with people *cough social climber haha*. Because I think I am just really sociable by nature. My DM would even share stories about me as a 5 year old pre-schooler going from one table to another to make friends (as if I was already on some campaign trail to become an elected politician hahaha). How’s that for my social skills? P.S. I am the type of person that, of I don’t actively interact with a group of people, you will know it’s because I probably don’t connect with them in any way. If that happens, I withdraw and I become quiet. And I just happily observe 🙂

On Relationships and Friendships:

In the last few years, I have remained silent over different life experiences that I went through in my “private” life (to those who love talking about me, please don’t speculate unless you personally know me. And if you know me personally, you’re better off asking me to my face than asking others about me  *gosh I know so many gossip mongers haha, I wish I could call them all out one by one but I’d rather spare them the humiliation :D*). Save for a few Instagram and Facebook status posts about how I feel (although almost all of the time, most of what I post are general sentiments and are not directed toward any particular individual or group of people, so again please don’t beat yourself up by speculating 😀 ), I had never expounded on matters that had affected me. Because of the amount of people that I have met, connected with, and known through the years of being a blogger and journalist while covering fashion weeks in Milan and in Paris, I have also become exposed to people who have less than good intentions. I have on numerous occasions, been taken advantaged of because of my contacts and perhaps because also of my trusting nature. When I meet new people, I always welcome them into my life with open arms– even if many people around me have warned me about them (especially those people with less than stellar reputations). I have been taught by my parents to see the good in everyone, to save judgement about their character for later. So I take them into my circle without prejudice. I never took into consideration what others say about them. If you happen to catch me on a very good mood, my overly friendly demeanor might be too much to take in and you might actually think I am so “fake”. But that’s really who I am, especially when I am happy (well this happens about 85% of the time haha). Truth it be told, my close friends tell me I am tanga (stupid or sometimes naive haha) because I get blinded easily by the “best foot forward” of some people. I take everything at face value and get too trusting and accepting. And then later, I get taken advantaged of (like any tanga and giving person would, natch haha). I don’t regret being nice or being helpful to people even if I am eventually wronged because I have learned valuable lessons. And I toughened up. I learned to be fearless when it comes to deleting people out of my life. If the people around you only want to be your friend because they feel that a relationship with you will be beneficial for them either personally or professionally, you are much better off dropping them immediately and without mercy.

It’s not about being a bitch, nor is it about being harsh. It’s about guarding yourself and sparing yourself the painful lesson of betrayal or of being “abused”. Believe me, you don’t need the stress. Energy and effort are better spent with people who are sincere, respectful, kind, honest, and consistent with you. Friendships and relationships are always a two- way street. You can’t keep on giving or taking without reciprocity.

On Social Media Posts:

I have since learned to keep a lot of the things that happen in my private life away from social media. After all, we must really live our lives–enjoy living your life and don’t just post photos on social media to prove that you are enjoying it. It’s not about showing others that you have an “amaaaazing” life and that they should envy the way you live it. Aspirational posts are different from posts that serve to incite jealousy and envy. At the end of the day, it’s about being authentic. And authenticity can never be forced. When something is contrived, authenticity becomes questionable.

The social media landscape has changed considerably in the last decade.  I started out as a luxury goods consumer and a fashion outsider ten years ago. I never thought that one day, I’d be privy to information and events that were once only reserved for the actual fashion insiders (magazine editors, department store buyers, and fashion journalists). I belong to the earlier group of bloggers (haha we are the oldies now *bawls haha* :D). I speak from personal experience, and the bloggers *with the exception of purely style bloggers* I know who began the same time I did had proper written (in my case, novel- length long haha) content and never really made as much effort in “perfecting” the photos they posted as much as a lot of the other bloggers do now. We were all about sharing our personal experiences. We were all about documenting like journalists. And even if I was a hard news journalist once, writing about fashion from a consumer’s perspective never really made me an “authority.” But it was passion for fashion that drove me to become a fashion blogger. It was about being authentic to what I loved.

The evolution of social media is something that fascinates me to this day. Being a blogger has become an actual profession from those days of my being a blogger (with a day job), to today where other fashion bloggers are now called “online influencers” and consider it their full- time job. I hate to admit it but readership of blogs have actually thinned out over the last few years. You have Instagram to thank for (or to blame hahaha). The average reader’s attention span has been cut short. But it’s also perfectly understandable. People have become so visual. And these days, Instagram (for many fashion and lifestyle influencers) is all about having well- curated accounts with professionally edited- looking photographs, accompanied by witty or well- written captions. But I must stress too that while many have “professionalized” their Instagram accounts and even took it to the level of creating these silly rules *i.e. #throwbackthursday is only for reaaally old photos while photos posted much later than the date taken must be hashtagged #latergram* , they fail to grasp the concept that Instagram is really just an online photo album. At least that is how I see it. I post things I want others to see, but I also don’t post everything. Because the best things in life that you end up experiencing don’t have to be publicized. They don’t always have to go on social media. And that merges my previous thoughts on private life with social media 🙂 I think too many people take this Instagramming and being an “online influencer” way too seriously 🙂 You shouldn’t be using social media platforms to prove your worth to people. You are NOT in competition with anyone but yourself!

Yes, instagramming has become a profession, and while there are no formal “rules,” *and no one will imprison you for not hashtagging properly*, the platform should be used responsibly :). 

Alright peeps, I think I’ve shared more than enough for this post– haha I hope this makes up for the absence of proper posts in the last few months (or years, eeps!) And haha, I think I need to include this succeeding paragraph as a final word in case I incite violent reactions from this post 😀

A Disclaimer (hahaha): All these feelings expressed on this post are only my opinions so please don’t crucify me if you don’t agree with what I wrote 🙂 For sure, you are entitled to disagree. But your opinion of me is really none of my business. And at the end of the day, I just want you to know that I still maintain this blog because I want to keep on sharing. I make zero apologies for the way I live my life (because it is no one else’s but my own, and I don’t seek funding from anyone but myself *haha apart from my DM + DBs’ generosity haha* ). No one has any right to judge you for how you choose to live your life. I live my life the way I see fit. I am flawed, I am human. I make a lot of mistakes. I make sure to apologize when I am wrong. But I definitely make sure I don’t step on other people’s toes.  And I remember to always be kind, gracious and thankful in every way I can.  😉

That’s it, folks! Loooooong post finally over!!! 🙂 Til the next one– and haha it better be a new bag or restaurant recommendation, right? 🙂

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, everyone!!!

x
TheBagHag