June 17: From the Heart & a Birthday Reveal! :)

I honestly don’t know where to begin or how to structure this post without you going “whaaaat?” so please just bear with me as I throw out my thoughts, unfiltered, unstructured. Think of this as me (a.k.a. the motormouth lol) talking to you face- to- face.  I am sitting here on my chair, staring at this laptop screen, thinking back to how all this began (the blog and the subsequent career that came along with it), and am shaking my head in amazement. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that this blog would give me the opportunities that I ended up having and experiencing. It was back in 2005 when, as a new mom a second time over, I decided to go online and write a little guilty pleasure/ self- indulgent bag diary, in the hopes that I’d be able to reach a group of women (hopefully my friends) who could help me decide on an investment with some money that I had saved– either for a Louis Vuitton denim speedy that I fell so hopelessly in love with, or for a new couch.

Looking back on that time today, it was really the silliest and most shallow reason to begin an online diary. But I will not lie, having come from a very loving family, I ended up with a rather traumatic start into my married life. Nothing in my life as a singleton prepared me for what I had to go through emotionally and really, if it were not for the unconditional support of my family and these little “silly” and “shallow” distractions at the time, I think I’d be living in some mental institution somewhere. It was during this very time that I began blogging, after having moved out of my in-laws’ place and finally into a little rented duplex of our own. The blog was my little “escape”.

This blog, a bag resale business (which I had to eventually give up operating because of the flood of online resellers that created a parallel market that could hurt local business franchises of foreign brands– brands that I have eventually forged great relationships with), an accessories boutique shared with my incredible partner and fellow Gemini Rodina Chua, writing stints for both local and international publications, and “The Bag Hag Diaries”, an interstitial television show on Star World later, I began reassessing where I want to be in this crazy age of digital media.

First of all, I never considered myself as a Style Blogger– because I can’t call me a style blogger. I admit I love taking selfies– really silly ones that I dare not post on any social media haha,  but I am not cut out to be in front of the camera posing for stills. Ask the photographers and video operators that I have closely worked with and they’d collectively agree that I’m just much too wriggly to stand or sit still for photos, and am more at ease talking and gesturing in front of a video camera. I do love to dress up every so often but not everyday (ugh the effort, no thanks haha I’m too lazy for that). And on the occasions that I’d actually make the effort to dress up, I don’t consider my style something so mind- blowing to write home about. In other words, I personally think I have a rather safe (cough… boring) style *zzzz lol*– but oye, I am trying to make it up with my umm… personality?! (See photo and caption below lol)

Seriously though if I had it my way, I’d be in an old tee and in shorts all the time, especially when I am in Asia. But I will not compromise my choices when it comes to bags and to shoes. Oh did you even know that I was not a bag lover first? I was actually a shoe hoarder more than a bag hag! It was only because my feet grew during both pregnancies (and did not go back to original size until only recently!!!) that I made that “switch” from being a shoe person to a bag person! And because I never really fashioned myself as a style blogger nor did I stick to covering bags and writing bag editorials all the time, I was left behind somehow. My contemporaries in the blogging world have gone on to become incredibly successful digital media stars

while I, well, I was still doing what I did… only much less than what I used to do! My posts on this blog became sporadic. And at times you might notice that the efforts in writing became so half- hearted. Deep down, I think I was beginning to get burnt out, and thebaghagdiaries.com had somehow lost her identity and more importantly, personality.

Admittedly, I also got lazy to type because all of a sudden it was all about mobile computing. The rise of the instagram star led to the fall of the writing bloggers somehow. Attention spans of people have been cut short (as if they weren’t short enough already), and people became increasingly visual and were less interested in verbose stories and blog posts. People had less time to read lengthy posts. And me= wordy. Me= talkative. (I’m actually going to be surprised if I still have your attention up until this point haha)

But yes, I became lazy. I love the work, don’t get me wrong. But to get me to actually turn on my laptop and begin typing out my thoughts? I’d honestly rather speak to a recording device and have someone just transcribe everything and send it for me to edit and subsequently post. But waaahhh I’m not Chiara Ferragni (who is a darling by the way, and I must say, what she has done for herself is so admirable and is by no means an easy feat)

and I don’t really have the resources to hire a team of people to run the site for me full time. I never had an assistant, and I am really just your average garden variety fashion and lifestyle blogger, operating this blog mom- and- pop store style. I hate to admit it but I’m also a poor time manager (as what my brothers would often say– and I agree that they are right, as they always have. But shh don’t tell them that I finally agreed to something they said about me haha).

While life has generally been amazing as a full- time blogger (because being a blogger eventually led to all these other opportunities), it also has its pitfalls. For one, because you start living your life “publicly” (sharing personal stories on a public platform), you instantly become good fodder for gossip mongers. Oh yeah and I had my fair share of those. And then you will end up attracting drama and controversy (even if that’s the last thing you want to attract). Because the very nature of the business is not just about hiding behind a website, it is also about having good public relation skills, and not everyone will like the way you interact with others. Again, gossip. From your choice in friends right down to details about your personal and family life. It comes with the territory somehow. It’s like getting a very mild taste of life as a showbiz personality (and I genuinely feel sorry for them because they end up living life inside a fishbowl). Initially I would get so affected by what people say.

And then I realized that their negative opinions of me never paid for my bills. Sure, I would listen to criticism, and I think over the years I have learned to take them well, but the gossip, the lies? I have since developed a thick hide like that of a rhino’s and those kinds of opinions have ceased to affect me. If anything, I’ve learned to laugh them all off. Gossip about me has never been more fun this way 😉 And eventually, people will just get tired of wondering, of trying to put the pieces of their little gossip puzzles together, because me as a topic has become irrelevant. Because there is always someone newer, someone younger, and someone more controversial. Again, it’s not personal. It’s just really the very nature of this business, and you gotta have the stomach for it or you’re out of the game.

Which brings us to yet another blogger- related topic: friends. Over the years of blogging, I have met the best and the worst kinds of people: the best kinds are the ones that remain there for you and do not abandon you when you are in an emotionally dark place (and we all have those– unless you are an android *not a phone or device but the proper robot kind lol* that is devoid of any human emotion). The worst kinds are the ones who use your sincerity and take advantage of it by posing as your “friend” and later mooching off your contacts and perks and subsequently lying about them in the most disturbing and unimaginable way *hello these people don’t even seem to have any moral conscience?!*. I mean, let’s not even go there (the stories I have about these people *if published* could go on to become the next best-selling novel in your neighborhood bookstore, should I decide to write about them hahaha). And in the last few years, while I had the “misfortune” of having wasted my time on a handful of unsavory characters, I was also so blessed to come across genuinely good people with the kindest of hearts. And these wonderful souls have taught me some of the most invaluable life lessons because they opened their lives to me and allowed me to experience the kind of goodness that has been so lacking in our society these days. There is hope. There are still good people around who don’t bullsh*t their way into your life because you have something they want or need *I have become so jaded, yes, but only because I have had my share of getting sick after biting into some rotten apples*. In your life, there will come a point when you realize that you don’t need to have everyone like you or be your friend. The smaller your circle of friends are, the less risk of  bullsh*t and drama. So that’s a lesson I want to share with you all– constantly edit people out of your lives and don’t feel bad about doing it. Keep your circle small.

Five years ago on my birthday, my life changed dramatically. It was at that time I was given the opportunity as a blogger to cover fashion week in Paris. Before my birthday back then, I said that I wanted my life to change. And really, it did. The last 5 years, with the exception of a few emotional speed bumps that come with this job, have been phenomenal. And boy, when you ask the universe for something and want it badly, it really comes to you– that was proof ;). So now that those 5 years have passed, I am ready for change once more 🙂 I am proudly and happily crossing over to my 4th decade in life, and at this stage I feel fulfilled enough to say that I can move on from the blog to do something else, buuuut I’m not going to do that. Haha not yet 😉  In fact, along with partners whom I have worked with so well in the past (and present), I’ve expanded my job description to include working on social media and creative consultancy for individuals and companies who wish to go digital (more on this very soon). And I’ve also decided on one other life- changing decision: to have a surgical procedure done on my nose!

Yes! I did it. I finally did it after 4 decades of having the baby potato (haha a pet name a dear friend coined for my nose lol) on my face. What actually started out as a little joke on my personal facebook account last Christmas turned into reality. Last Christmas, while many were posting messages about wanting peace, love, and good will for all mankind (interspersed with wanting a new car, a new bag, new bling, and a new pair *or two* of shoes) on their facebook pages, I said that all I wanted for Christmas was a new nose. It was a joke actually. Sure, I wouldn’t have minded having a new nose. But would I have actually done it? I am so squeamish around blood, and the very thought of a scalpel cutting through my skin was already enough to make me go weak on the knees! I wasn’t really seriously contemplating on doing it because I was just too scared, but OMG I still cannot believe that I actually did it! So after this loooong self- reflection of a post that I had to make you read (unless you’re one of them smart cookies who just head straight for the last few paragraphs of this post like you’d have flipped to the first page of the last remaining chapters of a book to find out the ending), I just wanted to reveal that I had the sides of my nose trimmed 4 weeks ago 🙂 I was never going to lie about my nose job (which I will explain to you in full detail and with bloodless *lol* pictures on my next post) because I can’t just possibly show my face on instagram or on here with a reply “so I woke up like this” to a possible comment about the change in my nose from one of you peeps, right? 🙂

So there you have it, the big revelation came last! And in the next day or so, I will be writing a full post on it, and will include pictures as well as more details on what made me decide to do it– and more importantly, why I did it! Thank you all so much for your birthday wishes and I do hope that I am still able to entertain you the way I did earlier on! Changes are still happening and hopefully by the time this year ends, I’d have already settled on everything to make way for 2016 🙂 I will hopefully become better with managing my time as I settle into my new decade of life and with also updating this blog so much more– because a lot of amazing things in my life have been happening and all I had been doing was photo- documenting them on instagram and not writing about them! This blog needs some lovin’ once again, and I hope you will continue to support it like you have in the past 🙂 Thank you so much and I can’t wait to share more about the birthday gift I gave myself on my next post. Hopefully that next post will help those who have been contemplating on the same procedure.

Stay tuned!! And yup, that is the new, still- healing nose 😉

x
TheBagHag